Feeling Defeated

So Valentine’s Day was on Tuesday. Not a big deal. I don’t think Joe and I have ever really celebrated Valentine’s Day. We don’t need a Hallmark Holiday to get us into crazy consumer mode and over pay for roses and candy and whatnot. We did go out to dinner on Monday, sans Peanut but that was only because my mom had the night off and wanted to spend time with her grandson whom she’d not seen in at least a week. SHE called it a Valentine’s dinner then gave us a box of Italian cookies for a gift. Thanks Mom!

Valentine’s Day was spent working, then running, then coming home to my loves. We had dinner, watched TV and went to bed.

The day after Valentine’s Day, February 15, I’ve realized is an evil day. It’s the day your co-workers bring in all the candy THEY got as gifts or from their kid’s school candy swap. They don’t want to eat it, so they unload it onto the rest of us. The surplus of candy in my office on a regular day is out of this world, but come February 15, wear your stretch pants!

I suppose I could use my will power and “just say no” to the Reese’s and Hershey’s and cookies and everything else, but I can’t. I have tremendous will power in terms of pushing myself to the limit in fitness. I’ll rarely decide to sleep in if I’ve already committed to waking up to my 5:00 am alarm to work out. I’ve done marathons, countless half-marathons, triathlons, a Warrior Dash…I’ve stuck to training plans with utmost integrity, but put a cookie in front of me… it’ll usually be gone in a second. Yesterday my day started off fine as far as eating goes. Even by lunch time, I was on the right track. Dinner was healthy too but it was all the in between CRAP that got me. And it all “got” me even more so on my run today.

Here’s a summary of yesterday:

Breakfast- 2 egg veggie omelet with side of potatoes. Not great, but not horrible.
Lunch- Zone Zinger Smoothie from Emerald City Smoothie. YUM! Talk about healthy!
Dinner- Sweet and sour shrimp over rice with veggies.

Okay, not bad right… well I brought a smoothie home for Joe too and when I stopped at home, I stuffed two of those Italian cookies from Mom down my throat. Indulged in a handful of Dove chocolates back at work, had a few bites of Justin’s ice cream (his reward for being semi good at the doctor), several Fererro Rocher truffles (these Justin grabbed off the shelf at CVS and insisted we buy them. I caved because the check out line was about 15 people long and I did not want to subject the whole store to his screaming until we made it to the exit), and then I polished off the box of those damn Italian cookies with Joe.

To top it off, yesterday was an unplanned rest day because of a visit to the doctor with Justin, then the trip to CVS and then dinner. An excuse I know, but I do need to allow two rest days per week. I’ll end up not resting on Friday to make up for yesterday. Today I was sure to get out on the pavement though and get those calories burning. I was excited to wear my new cold weather running leggings and insoles, both purchased from New Balance the day prior. I woke up at 5:30 am, got dressed, affixed my head lamp and headed out in the dark. I felt sluggish immediately. I planned on doing my usual 5.5 loop. I usually hit mile 3 in 24ish minutes. Today I hit mile 3 at 26 minutes. Uhg. “Oh well” I thought. “No biggie. I’m still under a 9:00 pace. That’s faster than I ever expected be a few years ago.” I was rationalizing. I was trying to put a positive spin on my sluggish run. I felt unhealthy and like I was standing still. I was still running though. I should feel good about that! I started thinking about all the people that were NOT running and I should feel empowered because I was “that crazy runner” out in the dark in 20 degree temps. My self esteem began to rise a bit. Not a lot, but a bit.

When I approached the home stretch I actually considered just stopping and walking and logging my run as a 5, not a 5.5 miler. BUT, alas I kept on. More than anything I needed to start getting ready for work. I was racing against the clock now. I finished in 50:00 exactly. I paced a 9:04 minute. NOT shabby but I’m not proud of how I felt. I need to learn to under indulge when it comes to sweet treats. Fewer cookies!!! Less chocolate!!! Yes, I’ll always burn it off, but I’ll feel like a rusty, squeaky, un-oiled machine while doing so.

Lesson learned today: I am what I eat! It’s been said for years. Today I experienced it first hand. I will eat well today and kick my workout’s ass tomorrow! I kinda need to eat better anyway for the next week. Hyannis Marathon is in 10ish days!!